you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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