Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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