You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize