Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
