I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
