Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
