i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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