I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
