you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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