I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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