she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize