we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
