biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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