would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
