A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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