i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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