i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
