ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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