so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My vagina just recognized that song.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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