I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We are all done wearing pants today
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
