It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
