I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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