Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
