he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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