Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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