i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
