theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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