$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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