She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
