and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
