don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
