Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
