At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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