wrigley field is MILF paradise
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
