...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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