i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
