it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i came on her dog
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
