dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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