You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize