I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
