Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
