'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
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