but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
