If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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