Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
