i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
