Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
