Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
