everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dick very happy bro
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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