Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
