its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
