so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
