She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
