i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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