They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
