Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
