Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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