Already got asked if we're dating
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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