I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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