I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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