Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
