im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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