they said they heard you say put it in my butt
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize